Comedian Rob Schneider at Chicago Improv of Schaumburg

Chicago Improv of Schaumburg

Comedian Rob Schneider performed last Friday night at the Chicago Improv of Schaumburg.  Who doesn’t remember him from movies like: Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, The Animal, or Grown Ups.  He was a cast member at the Saturday Night Live where he became good friends with Adam Sandler.

Schneider was funny – as expected.  He talked about his family, his new wife, his mom and dad.  Good material.  He got a little spooked when the lights went off for about 3 minutes.  Then, he got jumpy when a waiter approached the tables at the first row.

Funny thing, couple months ago at Improv, Tommy Davidson got spooked the same way when a guy from the first table tried to shake his hand.  When you are big-time star, the paranoia sets in.  Kim Kardashian, take a note.  It might save you from becoming a snowman next time some crazy fan throws a bag of flour in your direction.

Chicago Improv of Schaumburg: 5 Woodfield Rd., Schaumburg IL 60173 (inside the Woodfield Mall).

Madonna in Chicago on MDNA tour

Backed by a popular demand, we went to see Madonna's concert on Wednesday at the United Center in Chicago.  And yes, it was quite a show.

Concert supposed to start at 8 PM.  20 min. later, Paul Oakenfold started it off with about an hour of house/electronica music.  The guy sitting next to us, told us that the Material Girl is usually late to her performance about 2.5 hours - every time.  

He was right.  She didn't come up on the stage until 10:20 PM.  The famous girl is getting too tardy for the regular folks.  It was worth the wait, though.

The concert itself was very well put together.  Even then checkerboard stage with elevating cubes creating different shapes, was one of a kind.  The opener with the AK-47 machine gun and then shooting the dancers with the pistol, was kind of disturbing being so close to the south side with all that violence going on in the neighborhood.  After she got her anger out, the show went down with her greatest hits.  

For a 54 years old, Madonna can move!  She was doing splits, jumps, wall climbing, and all kinds of dance moves.  To prove that her butt is still firm, she even pulled down her pants as well.  And yes, it's firm.  Lady Gaga - you have a lot to learn!

The crew was awesome.  The dancers, the band, the backup singers - all top notch and very diverse.  After all, Madonna is an equal opportunity employer.  As for the the political flavor, no surprise here, she's against Romney. 

So the show, in the words of Will Ferrel: It's not great....IT'S FANTASTIC, you totally under sold it!  The pageantry, the costumes.  WOW.  What a musical.

Chicago Teachers Union strike is still not resolved

The Chicago Teachers Union strike supposed to end on Monday but the contract is still not approved.  About 26,000 teachers and paraprofessionals will go over the contract and decide if it satisfies their demands.  Both sides, CTU and CPS, simply cannot agree on the basics and the arguments seem to point to a power struggle between Chicago Teachers Union President Karen Lewis and Mayor Rahm Emanuel.  What’s the issue?  NYT has a great list of the issues and how the CPS compares to other major school districts in U.S.

Photo by igoghost at sxc

For now, 350,000 Chicago students are waiting for the school year to begin.  If it’s truly all about the kids, both sides handle the situation is the worst kind of way. 

Remember Reverend James Meeks and the stunt he pulled in 2008?  He bused 1,500 students from the poor neighborhoods of Chicago to the affluent, suburban school district of New Trier to show the discrepancy is the school founding.  Of course, non-district kids failed to enroll in the New Trier schools due to residency requirements.

What did he accomplish?  Absolutely nothing, besides some disappointed kids and one day out of school.  He’s career hasn’t flourished after that stunt either.  Nothing, except high income, prevents anyone from renting or buying in New Trier district but how the schools are being founded, that’s a totally different issue.

So who’s the loosing side during the strike?  Kids and families.

Kids, since they cannot move on with their education.  Families, since they have to take off work or find another place for the kids outside of school.  How will family making below average pay stay afloat without the paycheck or overtime?  What about single moms having to pay for a sitter or some temporary care service?  Not cool CTU.  Not cool.

If nobody knows what is the real issue, the issue if money.  You can use kids as paws but everybody knows that the money is behind CPU’s actions.  Never mind the $750 million CPS budget gap.  The union “deserves” higher raises and “job security” based not on the performance but on some vague standards.  I wonder what the property owners will think when their property taxes go up again and again to cover the budget gap.

There is no simple or quick solution to the Chicago schools poor performance debacle but the problem haven’t materialized itself overnight.  It’s been known for years.  Nobody seems to have large enough cojones to tackle that issue head on.  Well, maybe Emanuel.  But the core of the poor test scores and lack of attendance is simple: broken families and lack of higher income.  My friend Michael brought up and excellent point: doesn’t matter how much money you throw at the educational system if the majority of the kids in the district are homeless or from broken families living in homeless shelters or on the street.  Fix the social fabric of the society and the rest will follow.  Teaching the kids blackmailing is not in the curriculum.

The true reason of the Islamic radicalism

With the news of the attack on the U.S. embassy in Benghazi, Libya, and the sudden death of Ambassador Christopher Stevens and three other U.S. officials, the whole country salutes and thanks all four for their service.  This pointless violence proves again that the Islamic countries are not ready for a true democratic self-governance.

Photo by fauno_25 at sxc

With the anti-American demonstrations in Egypt and other parts of the Middle East, the question is raised again: why do we help to overthrow dictators, allow for some bloodthirsty idiots to take over, and then reinstate new pro-American dictators again to fix the mess? 

In the words of George Santayana:

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

Perhaps, by not helping Syrians to overthrow President Bashar al-Asad, President Obama makes a calculated decision to leave that mess for others to clean up.  Russians?  Chinese?

For the United States, it doesn't matter who wins in Syria.  Both sides dislike the Western culture, religion, and Christian values.  Why do you think large Islamic communities in Europe are trying to force a Sharia Law to control the population?  Obviously, they do not recognize laws of the land, government, or the Western social norms.  

Riots on the streets because of some movie that portraits Islam in a bad light?  Didn't we go through this with all the fatwas?  Danish cartoons and so on?  Islamic wars in Africa?  Genocide in Darfur?  Anti-Chrisitan conflict in Indonesia.  The list goes on.  

Maybe, the Islam religion, especially the Saudi Arabia Wahhabi style, is just not flexible to coexist with other religions and points of view in the 21 century?

No, there is a simpler explanation.  The one that goes to the core of all societies throughout the World's history.  

Whoever controls women, controls the society.  

Why such a bold statement?  Simple.  Who bears children?  Who teaches a child a first word?  Who take care of the basic mammal necessities of a male human?  If Sigmund Freud was right, and we know he was, the sexual impulses affect a major part of our life, women have an unequivocal power over men.

My wife mentioned an Oprah Show, we need you back Oprah, where some impoverish women started their businesses with the help of some cheap loan organization started in the United States.  The $5 or $20 loans helped many to grow very successful businesses in India, Pakistan, and some other please-do-not-drink-the-tap-water-or-spend-three-days-on-the-crapper-stan countries.  The husbands featured in the show were pathetic.  Blaming their wives for the family failures, by the same time not doing a thing to find a steady source of income.  

And that's just it.  Western culture exposes the pathetic men of Islam who are scared shitless of loosing the control of what's the most important to them: women.

My advise to the U.S. government: emancipate the females of the Middle East and you will free the Islam of radicals.   

Underestimating Jersey Shore Snooki?

Even though, I had a doubtful privilege of watching the "Jersey Shore" about twice, I've already made up my opinion about the whole cast and the people who produced that skunky show.  Feeding America, and the rest of the World, with the images of "fun loving" individuals from New Jersey, made me realize how low the entertainment industry have stooped down for the mighty buck.

For years, the "Jerry Springer Show" was the crown princess of the television garbage.  Amazingly, viewers in Europe gobbled up those stories like French baguettes, believing in a twisted image of this country.  I still remember the look of disbelief on my Danish host family when I argued that even if people on that show are real, they are a true and minuscule minority of the U.S. population.

So why is everyone despising Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi?  Is it her language, promiscuous behaviour, bitchy attitude, body image, limited vocabulary, or stupidity?  It might be that Snooki encapsulates everything what's wrong with America these days.  Is being a shallow idiot a new norm for a majority of young twenty-something?  Not so fast.  I dare to say that America is underestimating Snooki - big time.

We are being taken for a ride with all those "reality shows" but only few participants emerged as true winners.  Snooki is one of them.  She's designing and promoting her own bling-bling and clothes, slippers, selling books, cashing on appearances and Team Snooki Boxing.  Not surprisingly, Snooki is already capitalizing on her newborn son.  Being worth $2 million is a decent accomplishment for a 24-year old girl.

So, how do we explain to the next generation that garbage-foul-mouth behaviour is a less desirable line of entrepreneurship?  It falls on the parents to sift through the media landfill to curb the trash that is being served.  Eventually, our kids will grow up and make up their own choices.  As for Snooki, we can all learn that being business-minded, aggressive, and confident, bar the garbage, can lead to a success.  Is success without respect for you?  It all depends on the situation.

Haiti mess with a golden twist - episode 2

Wyclef Jean, thank you for your input about how badly Haiti needs help but perhaps you should direct your love for your country to the people of your country.  Haiti mountains hold over $20 billion worth of gold, not counting silver, copper and other precious metals.  Canadian companies are already paying off the whole corrupted Haitian government to drill and keep 90% of the profits.  So stop whining.  Your country has the resources, has the power, but has absolutely no will to change anything.
Simply put, decades of corruption, crime, and lack of honest government made it's mark on the whole population. 

They have to start with the basics.  What about the piles of trash left by the people who lived in the tent cities?  Piles of trash in the river?  Who will clean that up?  UN, UNESCO, or maybe some Christian organization?  But wait, why clean up after yourself when the aid workers will do it for the Haitians.  They have to "rebuild" their country after all. 

2.5 years later and "300,000 Haitians still living in temporary homes -- primarily tents"?  Media reports show aid workers carrying water and food to schools and large brick buildings, where are the natives?  In their tents?  Who took away their will to do something about their conditions?  If all unemployed Haitians got together, they would build safer houses in no time.  

You don't hear about Dominican Republic whining about their issues?  Same island, same area, same climate.  Why do Americans fly over to Dominican Republic to enjoy the weather and beaches?  The world governments who provide aid, forget about UN, should strongly suggest to setup vocational schools for adults to teach them everything.  From taking care of the family, cooking, getting a job, managing the money, to thinking about a future and taking care of their county.  Don't want to hear about how bad they had under all the regimes and all that.  The credit for that time already passed.

But wait, we cannot criticize those people because they are poor and helpless.  Where did all that money collected after the earthquake go?  What can they show for?  Show me pictures of new homes, schools, roads build by the government, any government.

And then, show me the secret bank accounts of Haitian officials before and after the earthquake.  I'll tell you where that money went.

And btw, the gold story is true and I'm surprised that the US media haven't jumped on it yet.  Ah, yes, Americans would know the truth so let's keep them in the dark.  Thank you Al Gore, thank you or the Internet.

Let the good times roll with Prince Harry

So the 27-year-old Prince Harry had some fun in Las Vegas.  Drinks, nude girls, and partying.  The TMZ got the pictures and the net is blowing up.  Is this really a front page news these days?  Some drunk dude partying?  Send the Redcoats to the rescue!

Not surprisingly, Prince Charles is already threatening to sue all the British news media if they publish any of that shiznit.  Queen Victoria would trip over her tight corset seeing this decadence.  

But who can blame a rich twenty-something for being just plainly horny and immature.  It's not like he was streaking on the Las Vegas Strip.  Although the street name would imply that nudity is encouraged.  

I wonder who sold the photos to TMZ?  At first, I felt that gutter muncher would perfectly describe the douchebag or douchette who sold the pics.  Then, I realized that making money of stupidity of others is perfectly legit business.  

So this is my top 10 list of the lucrative pictures in disgraced positions:

10.  Jack Black - eating organic carrots

9.  Joe Biden - giving a backrub to a man

8.  Paris Hilton - giving a commencement speech at a university

7. Rod Blagojevich - without his wig

6. Arnold Schwarzenegger - doing a cow yoga pose

5. Chris Rock - getting a backrub from Joe Biden

4. Joan Rivers - discreetly removing laundry clips from the back of her head

3. George Clooney - getting married in Cancun

2. Kim Kardashian - getting butt collagen injection

1. Taylor Swift - being spanked by a femdom

Happy hunting you paparazzi you!