Steve Trevino at Chicago Improv tonight

Tonight, we were introduced to comedian Steve Trevino who performed at the Chicago Improv.  Not sure why they still call it Chicago Improv since the club is located in the basement of the Woodfield Mall in Schaumburg, about 45 min from Chicago, but never mind that.  

In short, Trevino was pretty decent.  Great personal style comedy with his wife shining as a main star. 

You want some lines?  How about his high school football coach yelling at his weed-stricken friend: You are higher then giraffe's pussy boy!

Fireball parody by Key of Awesome

If you haven't seen Barely Productions parodies on YouTube, there is still time, you know.  I find the Pitbull parodies to be the best.  Better than the original for sure.



The original.

Why food corporations feeding us garbage?

Everyone knows that the processed food is basically garbage.  Some families have better luck (and funds) to avoid it, some are not so lucky.  The obesity plague in America is partially our own fault.  Instead of slaving over the pots for an hour or two, we rather buy some fast food or throw in a frozen pizza in the oven.  Partially, food corporations are to blame with their sublime commercials and very effective advertisements.  Yes, they are good.

We all agree that something has to be done.  And little by little, Americans and the rest of the world, are realizing the unhealthy choices we make.  Not surprisingly, McDonald's is closing 700 stores worldwide amid plummeting sales.  If Ronald McDonald can't push those Big Macs and fries, who can?

But all that aside, let's think for a moment about what is being done to sell more healthy choices to us?  For last couple of months, I noticed all kinds of campaigns about new ingredients, better quality, and around goodness in food offerings.

Now, hold on a slice!  If a company is telling me that now they are using real cheese and less chemicals in the pizza, is that supposed to make me go crazy for their product?  What about all those years they fed us shit?  This, so-called positive campaign, sends an opposite message but I don't see any outrage in the mass media.  Will someone be held responsible for lying to American people all those years?

Another example: chewing gum.  All over the shelfs there are stacks of chewing gum with "now without aspartame" labels in large font.  The artificial sweetener, aspartame, has been suspected of all kinds of side effects in humans.  Just type aspartame in google.  So after all that time, our kids went through tons of this garbage to learn that today the chewing gum is finally safer to chew.

I wonder if someone collected all the receipts from the pizza places and connivence stores.  If eating that food led to a high cholesterol or a heart attack, they deserve a fatty settlement.  Pun absolutely intended.

Don’t be fool, stay in school

For those of you who are itching to get out and skip a class or two, take a gander at this very informative PSA YouTube video below.  Don’t get discourage by a slow intro, it gets better, much better.  So think twice before ditching a class.  Don’t be fool, stay in school.  And, by the way, I’m looking for another public service announcement: Don’t be fool, wrap your tool.  Will keep you posted.

Happy Birthday joy

To all of you birthday boys and girls, I wish you the best time during your celebration.  Don't forget to sing the Happy Birthday song.  For those who need some musical instruments to start off with the right tone, watch below video for some instructions.

 

Chicago temperatures feel like Chiberia

Today, Chicago's extreme cold must have been some kind of a record with -15 F (-26 C) going down to -30 F (-34 C) with wind chill.  Most of the country is experiencing freezing temperatures.  Even in north parts of Florida, the temperature is down to 40 F.

This kind of weather really makes me think of moving to California (77 F right now) or Hawaii.

After shoveling some snow, I realized that life is just too short to spend your days digging out cars and cleaning up your driveway.  The arctic blast prevents us from enjoying the snow also.  Frostbite is no joke so I won't let me son play outside either.  Yes, we try to entertain the family with the usual activities inside the house but it feels like a forced fun.

How do you deal with this cold weather?  Do you go out to the shopping mall, spend time on a computer, play cards, play guitar?  I'm willing to try new things.

Avicii and Dan Tyminski deliver "Hey Brother"

After the big hit called "Wake Me Up", Avicii (aka Tim Bergling,  is a Swedish DJ, remixer, and record producer) follows up with another called "Hey Brother".  What struck me about this is the fact that the actual song performer is Dan Tyminski who's "Man of Constant Sorrow" was such a hit in a movie "O Brother, Where Art Thou?".   That's a bluegrass taken to the next level.  More info from Wiki:

Daniel John "Dan" Tyminski (born June 20, 1967) is an American bluegrass composer, vocalist, and instrumentalist. He is a member of the band Alison Krauss and Union Station and has released two solo albums, Carry Me Across the Mountain (2000), on the Doobie Shea Records label, and Wheels (2008), on the Rounder Records label.[2] He is best known for his updated version of the song "Man of Constant Sorrow," which was featured in the movie "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" and won the 2001 CMA award for best single as well as a Grammy Award for best Country Collaboration with Vocals (along with Harley Allen and Pat Enright, filling out the vocals for the movie's Soggy Bottom Boys). In total, he has won 14 Grammy awards[3] for solo and collaborative projects.

Just found out Macklemore is white

For the longest time I was certain that Macklemore was black. Until I saw the video. Is that racist? Nah. Just middle age.

 

Smokers should try Nick-O-Dick

Forget e-cigs. Kick the nasty habit the cool way. Try Nick-O-Dick.

 

NSA double standard when spying on the world

The ex-National Security Agency contractor, Edward Snowden, who is currently taking advantage of an asylum in Russia, is still releasing stolen NSA documents to major newspapers (ex. UK Guardian) around the world.  In the latest wave of secrets revealed drama, the world dissevered that 35 of the close and not-so-close heads of states were under the NSA phone surveillance.

Angela Merkel expressed the most outrage since NSA listened to her cell phone conversations.  The White House, and President Obama, categorically denied that NSA is currently monitoring or will monitor Merkel's cell phone.  No explanation of the past sins.

Other presidents and prime ministers were also unhappy with the spying scandal.  However, the biggest question remains.  Why is the media outraged when a foreign politician's phone is tapped but when NSA infiltrates millions of private emails on Google and Yahoo, tracks all the cell phone conversation in US and billions around the world, the outrage dies out?

According to a top-secret accounting dated Jan. 9, 2013, the NSA’s acquisitions directorate sends millions of records every day from internal Yahoo and Google networks to data warehouses at the agency’s headquarters at Fort Meade, Md. In the preceding 30 days, the report said, field collectors had processed and sent back 181,280,466 new records — including “metadata,” which would indicate who sent or received e-mails and when, as well as content such as text, audio and video. - Washington Post 

Is simply a double standard for us, regular folks, versus the "all mighty" politicians, the "rulers" of the realm.  How does it feel to know that the laws you pass to control your population and spy on your own citizens somehow made a 360 turn and came back to ravage your privacy?  Doesn't feel right, does it?

And please, stop treating us like imbeciles.  The "metadata" is imbedded in the digital data.  Do you really think that NSA would go through all the trouble to collect all those records just strip them form the actual data?  It's like getting a popsicle and melting the ice to get the stick.

Will Angela Merkel or some other European country take action and end relationship with U.S.?  Highly unlikely.  With 46,000 U.S. troops stationed in Germany, basically a lifeline to local economy, 11,000 in Italy, 10,000 in United Kingdom, and smaller deployments all over the Europe, U.S. is the only western country with enough power to run NATO and protect Europe and rest of the world.  The economic synergy between U.S. and Europe is also an essential part of the relationship.  So in short, Americans are free to do whatever they want under the umbrella of national security.

What we should worry about is the fact that privacy is long time gone.  With our lives revolving around webcams, smartphones, smart TVs, cable boxes with built in microphones, iPads, and laptops, hacking into any of those devices became a new surveillance standard.  I used to smirk at people who tape over their laptop webcams but now I consider them prophetic.  Thank you general brand blue painter's tape. Thank you for keeping my chiseled chest private.

Have a wonderful life

I would never imagine that one of my favorite songs from 1987 "Wonderful Life" by Black (Colin Vearncombe), would ever be in a place where the song's name is no longer recognized as "the song" from the eighties.
As of now, the English group "Hurts" (singer Theo Hutchcraft and synthesist Adam Anderson) is taking over the franchise for the title with their own iteration of "Wonderful Life".  Compare if you dare.

Black - Wonderful Life


Hurts - Wonderful Life

Lorde, Lorde look who's 17 and rocks the YouTube

The 17 year old Ella Maria Lani Yelich-O'Connor (born 7 November 1996) aka Lorde, took over the airwaves and the web with the Royals awesomeness.  Below are the two versions of the song.  What I found interesting is how the US version sells, obviously cute, artist's image where the international version just tells the story.  Just a proof that cuteness sells.

The best cover of the Royals is performed by the Walk off the Earth group.  Very clever video and the presentation is interesting as well.  Doesn't that make you appreciate YouTube even more?  True artists can get out there and show what they can do.

Lorde - Royals (US Version)

Lorde - Royals (International Version)

Royals - Walk off the Earth

Dane Cook dished out a great stand-up in Chicago

If you like stand-up comedy, you already know comedian Dane Cook.  Ever since, I've watched his HBO special, I really wanted to see him performing life.  Guess what?  My wife surprised me with tickets to Chicago Theatre for one, and only Dane Cook show in Chicago, this past Sunday.

Dane Cook delivered!  He's new material called "Under Oath" was witty, funny, with great punch lines, and of course easily applicable in a relationship.  

I won't give up his jokes but one thing is certain,  he'll make a lot of people laugh.

After the show, Dane came out to sign autographs and take pictures.  There was about 100 people waiting for him and everyone got a chance to talk to him and have a great memento.

If you have a chance to see Dane Cook live, go for it, it's worth it.

Dane Cook with his fans

Yoann Lemoine aka Woodkid

Yes, I admit it, I've missed Gotye's hit song "Somebody That I Used To Know" by about a year.  Why?  Don't know. One thing I know is that Yoann Lemoine aka Woodkid won't escape my music taste.  Got hooked on "Run Boy Run". Woodkid is becoming bigger and bigger.  Check out the "Iron" also. Music reminds just rocks!

Speed cams in Chicago will soon grab your wallets?

Chicago Mayor, Rahm Emanuel, is finally getting his wish. Chicago is officially getting closer to installing the initial speed cameras at 50 locations by the end of 2013. According to Chicago Tribune, “state law allows Emanuel to install cameras at up to 300 locations in specially designated school and park zones” around Chicago.

The biggest surprise (not) is a recent test run by two competing vendors, ATS and Xerox State & Local Solutions, concluding the estimated revenue from the speeding tickets would exceed, wait for it, “well into the hundreds of millions of dollars in the program's first year”.

Emanuel's push for this huge revenue stream made everyone in the City Hall curious at first but now, everyone soaked their panties and some more. Reading about this cash grab, I sit there and wonder, why Chicagoans bend over and take it without a peep? Why not install a GPS systems in every car in Chicago and automatically withdraw weekly penalty from your checking accounts? It would be more cost effective.

What is wrong with you people? It's right there: revenue, cash stream, bring in, reap, millions of dollars. Nobody's taking about how many accidents will be avoided, how many kids will be saved, how many lives will be prolonged. Where are the pedestrian vs. car statistics? How will City Hall justify year after year of this new tax?

On the positive note, Emanuel's friends from Redflex Traffic Systems are persona-non-grata due to the bribery scandal with the red light camera program. I wonder who does the Mayor know at the ATS company?

You might call it a drive-through colonoscopy, but once again, Chicagoans got boned. This time with a camera tip light pole. And no, I'm not taking about a huge population of pale Poles in Chicago.

Happy Fassha Day

To all responsible fathers who take care of their families and try hard to raise respectful kids, Happy Fassha Day!

America’s Got Talent show taping in Chicago

Stage and the famous table

Tons of people showed up at the Rosemont Theatre for the taping of America's Got Talent Chicago.  And by tons, I mean thousands.  The tickets were free, yes free, and the crowd was psyched to see Heidi Klum, Scary Spice Girl Mel B., Howie Mandel, and of course, Howard Stern.

They taped two shows for three days.  I went on Thursday and was lucky to get a seat in the first row behind the judges table about twelve feet from Heidi Klum.  Yes, Heidi is a total lady.

The season's premiere is set for June 4th on NBC but we had a chance to see all the great and not so great performances live!

The biggest surprise was a black guy with dreads who was about the sing.  Everyone expected some modern cover song or some rapping but the guy actually performed "Granada" opera song.  And he was fantastic!

Howie Mandel had the best comment, “You have performed like a black Pavarotti, a Blackarotti!” Needless to say, the guy advanced.

The other surprise was a group of dancers who juggled and tossed wooden rifles ten feet into the air.  Perfection and precision was rewarded and they advanced as well.  The dancers wore very tight and revealing black spandex costumes with long capes so it was no surprise that Howie cracked another comment, “The performance had the perfect combination of difficulty, skill, and even a slight touch of camel toe!”  The ladies in the group automatically covered their groin area, it was hilarious.

Then, there was this wedding singer aka standup comedian whose performance sucked proverbial tea bags.  The whole theater booed him ten seconds into his lame routine.  The guy just didn't want to clear the stage.  The audience was just annoyed and even Howie couldn't put down the fire.  The guy was axed but Howard Stern really took his time explaining why the jokes sucked and perhaps sticking to the weddings was the best outlet for the guy.  The lesbian group labia majora aficionado actually kept it professional.  Keep it cool Howard!

Another fail was some Chi-town drag queen with his two minions dressed in black spandex.  Btw, what's up with the black spandex lately?  It's unflattering to the ladies and over bulging for the guys.  The skit totally blew.  What kind of a drag queen are you if you can't dance and sing?  Birdcage anyone?  Rejected.

By then, everyone was ready for some electrifying performance.  The next crew looked awesome: two guys in Halo armor with compressed air rifles, one on stilts, four girls with hard hats, metal chest and groin plates, welding goggles, swinging metal grinders.  What’s not to like?  Wrong.  The idea was great for an industrial rave party but not really worth a million dollars grand prize.  Rejected.

Finally, the act worth watching involved juggling and a Molotov’s cocktail on a balloon.  It was impressive and the juggler advanced.  The table was amazed.

There were some others but you will have to watch the show on TV to find out who passed and who failed.

Overall, America’s Got Talent was a total blast.  Everyone had a great time and we had a chance to see and talk to some interesting celebrities.  If AGT tapes in your city don’t miss it, you will have a great time.  Check out some of the pics from the show.  Comment on your favorite performer.

Heidi from behind

Table getting ready for a break

Howie, Mel B, and Heidi

Some makeup at the table

Mel B with Heidi Klum

Scary Spice – Mel B

People waiting before the show

Rosemont Theatre

Dead giveaway by Charles Ramsey

You can always count on Cleveland for a good story.  America was shocked by the discovery of three missing women found allegedly enslaved in one of the houses in Cleveland by three Puerto Rican Castro brothers.  Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michelle Knight are free now thanks to a new American hero: Charles Ramsey.

Charles Ramsey deserves a lot of credit for being a concern fella in the neighborhood of who-cares-if-there-are-chained-naked-women-in-that-house.  Bill Gates, this is your guy!  How about rewarding Mr. Ramsey for his cojones.

 

Werewolf and department store discounts

The Twilight Saga movies became something comparable to the Star Wars Saga or Lord of the Rings Saga. Story about Bella and her adventures with the blood thirsty vampires and cuddly werewolves are here to stay.

One big question remains: Do werewolves get discounts on clothes at department stores?

After Jacob Black rips his clothes up eight times a day to turn into a werewolf, where does he get his new outfit? Does he have a Macy's baggie stashed away in the woods to quickly pop on some jeans and a cotton v-necks?

Perhaps, local Kohl's sponsors his escapades by providing seventy five matching sets of khakis and flannel shirts?

Or, he just visits a second hand store to save some money.  But wait, Jacob Black looks like a GAP commercial so it must be the discounts for werewolves.  BTW, is there a discount on chewing toys at the pet shops?  Because that would fall into the young werewolf category as well.

PSY is a true Korean gentleman

After the worldwide sensation "Gangnam Style", PSY cooked up another hit titled "Gentleman".  Yes, there are new moves associated with the song.  No choice but to learn a new dance after becoming proficient in "Gangnam Style".  Wedding DJs will be psyched. Pun absolutely intended.

Will the new song ease the tensions between North Korea and South Korea?  Perhaps Kim Jong-un could bust a move instead of busing a nuke?  Or, maybe North Koreans finally revolt against their butterball leader after realizing how much fun they've been missing all those years.

Undeniably, the song is a hit already.  At the time of this post, there are 6,901,112 YouTube hits already.  Go PSY!

UPDATE : 4/18/13   As of today, the video was watched 152,511,885 times! WOW!

UPDATE: on May 8th, 2013, PSY received 300,526,367 hits!