Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Powerball lottery jackpot up to $550 million

Here we go again.  Another giant jackpot coming my way, this time it’s Powerball.  The latest estimates put the jackpot at about $550 million.  What will I do with my winnings?  I’ve posted my list here, after the Mega Millions hit its record at the time.

Forbes magazine published the 11 biggest lottery winners list.  The stories are great.

I find Twitter to have the best lines when it comes to a public frenzy over pretty much anything. Check out the hashtags #powerball and #lottery.  My selections are below.

Uber Nibbler@UberNibbler
Building an orphanage in my home town after I collect my #powerball #lottery winnings. Yes, it’s like that.
Hannah Johnson@hannahLjohnson
My dad told me that he hopes I win the lottery so I can pave his driveway.. #hahahah #onlymydad #lottery
Justin Zukowski@JZ_HOVA
Were all gonna wake up and drag our broke asses to school and work tomorrow #lottery #dreams
Amy Freeze@AmyFreeze
Who’s Playing? Or Maybe Who Isn’t? Powerball is selling at an average rate of 105,000 tickets per minute. #Lottery #JackPot
Social Studs@socialstuds
The odds of winning Powerball are 1 in 175,223,510. The odds of being in a history rock band are 1 in 180,243,098. I like my odds. #lottery
John Orosz@iGottaUseDaJOHN
To who ever is playing the lottery tonight…May the odds be ever in your favor!!:) #lottery #TheHungerGames
Judy Baar Topinka@JudyBaarTopinka
In order to pay off its debt, #Illinois would have to win the #powerball 198 times! #SGP #ILisBroke

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Paula Broadwell’s top 10 list of new bestsellers after Petraeus resigns

The best political thriller and Harlequin authors could not come up with this scenario.  One of the highest intelligence officers of the land, CIA Director David H. Petraeus, resigned from his post because of the extramarital affair with his biographer, Paula Broadwell.  The relationship was exposed by FBI, alerted by a possible contender, Jill Kelley, after she was threatened by Broadwell.

The story gets better.  Top military commander in Afghanistan, General John Allen, is not under scrutiny for horny emails exchanged with Jill Kelley.  Between 20,000 and 30,000 of them!  Americans want their money back.

Wait, wait.  One of the FBI agents conducting the investigation is now suspended for emailing his shirtless pictures to Jill Kelley.  What a relief.  No boner exchange.  Obviously, Anthony Weiner is missing on some hot, textile-less action here.

The top 10 list of Paula Broadwell’s new bestsellers of 2012
  • 10. “Pearl Hambone”
  • 9. “Tank tops and turrets”
  • 8. “Foreskin-star general: David H. Petraeus”
  • 7. “Is this bayonet in your pocket?”
  • 6. “Balls Deep”
  • 5. “Short barrel howitzer”
  • 4. “Fire is the glory hole!”
  • 3. “Kneel and gimme 50″
  • 2. “Don’t shoot! I’m coming!”
  • 1. “History of a hummer”

Friday, November 9, 2012

Christina Pazsitzky performs at Chicago Improv

Christina Pazsitzky was the headliner of the Chicago Improv tonight.  She's known from the Chelsea Lately show. 

Before Christina, the featured comic, Chicago native Brian Aldridge, delivered an outstanding performance.  You can check out his website here.  His style reminded me of Daniel Tosh, bar the megaton of vulgarities.
 
Right from the start, Pazsitzky tried to shock when she exposed her belly displaying the results of wine and mozzarella sticks diet from her recent tour.  Yes, it was funny. 

I think the story about her Hindu stepfather taking a number two standing up on the toilet was true given a fact that  toilets in India are just squatting holes.  Yes, you can learn about important cultural differences at the comedy club.

The closer, however, was the best.  Pazsitzky actually invited a young couple on the stage in order to make fun of a guy and ask him to perform a fake proposal.  But wait, that wasn't a joke.  The guy actually took a knee and proposed to his girlfriend with a ring.  She couldn't believe it, but she said yes.  Yes, the guy expected some action tonight.  Naturally. 

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Election 2012: Who do you side with?

My friends just sent me this great quiz from isidewith.com to check on your political and social views.  The quiz is interesting and results may surprise you.  

Who knew: I found out that Gary Johnson is my guy.


Sunday, November 4, 2012

Alonzo Bodden at the Chicago Improv

Last Friday, Chicago Improv comedy club hosted Alonzo Bodden, the third season winner of the Last Comic Standing.  First of all, the guy is tall.  6' 4" to be exact. 

Check out the video on The Kevin Nealon Show when Bodden talks about Google.  Yes, he was still in the process of writing that piece.  And why is Kevin Nealon uncomfortable in his little director's chair? 

About half way through the gig, some girl from the first row decided that some of the jokes were too much, and she asked Bodden to take a notch or two down.  I haven't seen that before at the comedy club.  Yes, the disapproving reaction of the crowd happens but a single person?  Anyone else had seen that? 

I have to admit, Bodden handled that criticism skillfully.  The girl was happy, and the comic could move on to the sport jokes.  Crown just went along with the jokes and laughs. 

Although, I prefer a more physical stand-up, he's material was decent.  Add a glass of wine, plate of hummus, and gorgeous date, and my evening was complete.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Hurricane Sandy aftermath: What country will offer assistance first?

Hurricane Sandy left a huge path of destruction.  Estimating the damages will be almost impossible, since the effects of the hurricane will be felt for years to come.  Stock market, tourism, casinos, tax revenues, jobs, insurance costs, infrastructure, and human factor.  First careful estimates are in already.  The Huffington Post reports:
As a wide swath of the eastern seaboard begins to recover from what's estimated to be at least $20 billion in hurricane-related damages, the help is pouring in. Federal recovery dollars are being funneled to state agencies, nonprofits are accepting donations, first responders are caring for the injured and neighbors are helping neighbors.

One burning question comes to mind: which countries will jump in first to offer any form of help to the United States?

United States provides tons of assistance after every major disaster all over the world.  We all know that.  This is a payback time.  Who's first?  Going once, going twice...

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The coldest Six Flags Fright Fest 2012 in Chicago


Last Sunday, October 28th, it was the last day of the Six Flags Fright Fest 2012.  Chicago's Six Flags, located about an hour north of Chicago in Gurnee, IL, was probably the coldest venue out of the 13 parks with temps around 40s.  Speak up Montreal if you dare! 
The Zombie

The People

The Scarecow

The Pond

Regardless of the temperature and chilling wind, the place was packed. Getting to the parking’s lot took 30 min.  Inside, all the pre-teens and teens with light jackets, no hats or gloves, looked like red popsicles.  All the rides were open but the lines were just ridiculous.   At least the Halloween costumes were decent.  And yes, those dressed up guys really scared a lot of people.  Haven't stayed for the evening parade but people were still pouring in around 6 PM. 

I'll visit again.  This time when it's nice and warm.